The long, engaged weekend

Um, you guys are amazing. I'm incredibly overwhelmed and touched by your comments yesterday. Thank you all so much for sharing in the excitement, truly.

I honestly wasn't sure where to start with this - we didn't have a super traditional engagement situation and it was a little complicated. Do I start with that? Or with a schlocky story about us and how we met? Plus, do I want to take up prime crafting post time during the holiday season to babble about myself? Tough decisions.

But then I started my usual process of pulling photos from the weekend and found myself writing a little bit more than usual. So here is the story of the weekend, organically. Good enough for now.

The weekend was a bit of a blur. Shocking, I know.

I was lucky enough to be able to take Wednesday off and I spent the entire day cooking in my kitchen, quietly. It was wonderful, soul renewing, especially because it felt like the calm before the storm, a day alone before this big life change (spoiler alert - I already knew we were going to make the official announcement on Thanksgiving, so it wasn't a surprise). Also, I got my hair cut and realized I'd forgotten how very good an expensive hair cut can make you feel. I had to run to the store for garlic and wait in a long day-before-Thanksgiving line and I was all smile-y, chatting it up with other customers instead of groaning audibly. I allowed the roving wine expert to talk me into another bottle of champagne, flipping my hair ever so slightly. Note to self, haircuts are totally worth the expense.

{thanksgiving kitchen}

On Thanksgiving, we strapped the giant door to our car and drove, slowly, slowly, slowly down to Orange, afraid we might take flight if we went over the speed limit. Having never actually driven the speed limit on the 405, we were somewhat curious about how long it would take. Answer - not too terribly long, especially if you have a ring nestled in your bag and feel so anxious/excited that time is alternately speeding way up and then slowing way down. Disorienting, to say the least.

{thanksgiving apps}

At my parents' house, D set to work making the door into a table. I flurried around the kitchen, determined to get the meal on the table on time, to make everything perfect. I snapped at my mom, but just once and then I made myself some strong tea and told myself to get it together. We set out plates of appetizers, large garden roses, plopped into a vase because we ran out of time to arrange them. People began to arrive. I tried to chat through the lump in my throat. We set the table, heirloom lace and linens overlapping to cover the giant door, now table. Silver and grandma's china. Linen napkins. Mismatched chairs for twelve.

{beautiful turkey}

The turkey emerged early, eager to get started. My mom used Alton Brown's Good Eats method and I'm pretty sure that we'll never go hunting for another recipe again. Fast, beautiful, perfect. I had been terrified that the (23 lb) turkey might be late, holding up the whole show. I couldn't explain to her why I was worried, so she probably thought I was crazy, but she was nice about it, getting the turkey in the oven right on my time table.

People filled their plates. Champagne and cider were poured. Immediately before we raised our forks, D stood and made the announcement. (I slipped my ring on under the table as he spoke) Our mothers cried. I turned bright red, mostly unable to speak, people hugged us. Glasses were raised, the ring was examined, congratulations were given. Wanting everyone to know on the same day, we drove over to my stepsister's house for dessert, made the announcement to the family, all hung out on the couch for a few hours, recovering. We emerged into a perfect night - cold and crisp and absolutely clear, filled with stars.

And there is this - I was overwhelmed. I was supposed to be happy and excited, but it was all hidden beneath a layer of stress from having such a big day, from having what had previously been so private suddenly become so public. I needed to decompress, badly. I got a little teary, and not in a good way. I felt a little bit like a failure at being engaged, already. We went home and collapsed.

The next day, we woke up late and ate leftover sandwiches with a side of cranberry orange relish.

{thanksgiving friday}

I re-read Harry Potter, just for fun, while eating pie in bed. D didn't complain even though I probably left crumbs.

{pie, book}

We went to a really hard yoga class and sweated a lot (I wore my ring and it was fine). We drove up to the vineyard to pick up our wine club shipment. We tasted several cabernets and pretended to be wine experts. We ate cheese and crackers and it finally hit me - I was so happy, so excited, so calm.

{wine tasting, feet}

We sat in the chilly air for a long time, feeling like kids. Except better, because we were a little tipsy. We took lots of pictures, including the fist pump shared yesterday. And some less exciting ones, like this.

{engaged!}

We drove home and spent the rest of the weekend just the two of us, which is exactly what I needed. A little reminder that even though this is all public, it's still just us. We ate lots of leftovers and washed lots of dishes and felt different, somehow.

{glass, china}

It was lovely.

About the ring - it was my grandmother's, who gave me my middle name and who died shortly after I was born. It is from the 1930s and it is a little bit art deco and sparkly and worn nearly paper thin in the back because she wore it her entire adult life. D and I both agree that we couldn't have picked something better, and I'm honored to have it. We had it painstakingly repaired but held off on replacing the band because I couldn't bear to do it right away. I love it.

About the wedding - I am really excited about being married, but a little freaked out by the whole wedding planning thing. This will probably pop up here and there on the blog, but I'm not planning on turning this entire blog into wedding planning central. We'll see how it goes. You'll probably also have to put up with some of my musings on how I came to the point where I wanted to get married, after having been in love with the same person for most of my life and feeling no desire to formalize it. Good thing you guys are patient.