If you hate caramelized onions, please just stop reading. Also, what is wrong with you?
For caramelized onions, as for so many kitchen related things, I trust to Mark Bittman's method. There is nothing wrong with doing what I had been doing for many years, which is slicing onions and cooking them with olive oil over low heat until they turn brown. But when I saw Bittman's instructions in How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, I decided to trust him. And it was worth it.
I'm paraphrasing here, but the general instructions are simple. You slice a ton of onions (they cook way, way down, so you might as well do at least 5 onions) and toss them in a heavy bottomed stock pot with a lid. Don't put any olive oil in there yet! Cook them over medium high heat for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the onions are soft and sweating and starting to stick to the pan. Then toss in some olive oil (a tablespoon or two will do) and a few pinches of salt. Take the lid off and reduce the heat to low. Continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are done to your preference (mine take 30 - 40 minutes). They will be a lovely, melting golden mess when you are finished.
Simple, right? And heavenly. I make a largish batch at a time and then store them in the fridge where they'll keep for a week or two. Toss them in them in a quiche, or on a pizza, or in an omelet, or stir them into lentils. You'll love them any way you decide to try them. They are especially tasty with sundried tomatoes, even if you just spread the mixture on crusty baguette.
P.S. If you have onion haters in your household, this might be the perfect way to convert them.