Monday, November 23, 2009

Holidays, managed (part 1)

As promised, the non-insane holiday series...

christmas tea
{christmas tea - a tradition}

Okay, guys. I've held off for as long as I possibly can, in deference to those of you who gag if people mention the holidays anytime before Thanksgiving. But I love this time of year. I love the bustle and the family and the food. I've been slowly buying gifts for the last two months.

I know the season can be stressful and I find that sad. I think it's all the expectations and the hype. We stare at other people's perfect table settings, we read about gourmet turkey cooking methods, we stress over finding perfect gifts. As a type A person, I can understand the pressure, but I'm slowly deciding to let. it. go. So for the three days leading up to Thanksgiving (my absolute favorite holiday, ever) I'm sharing some of my tips. And I hope you'll chime in with your own.

For today - decide what you hate and what you love. Sit down right now and make a list. What memories do you have? What feelings do you want to capture? What experiences do you want to avoid?

For me, the holidays are all about experiences. I love being at home. I love the feel of the heirloom crocheted lace tablecloth we use for Thanksgiving dinner, shaking it out, pressing it into place, the glow of candle light, the smell of cookies baking. I love the sounds of people laughing and the Vienna boys' choir singing traditional Christmas carols in the background. I love drinking hot tea early in the morning, watching the lights twinkle on the tree, feeling at peace.

There are also things that drive me crazy. I can't set foot in a shopping center after Halloween. I hate the terrible smooth jazz versions of Christmas carols and the frantic atmosphere makes me panic. I hate the cheesy commercials for diamond necklaces that air constantly on TV.

I feel most festive and happy when I'm tucked up in my apartment, baking or sewing or reading. So I shop on Etsy and Amazon and commit to a couple of homemade projects that I know I'll enjoy. I love the cooking and baking, so I spend long hours looking at recipes and making grocery lists. But that's because I like it. If you don't like it, don't do it. Your likes and dislikes will be different than mine (I'd love to hear about them!), so tailor your holiday around them.

Tomorrow - how to be prepared for parties.

31 comments:

  1. the build up to the holidays are always my favourite - i love going to christmas markets and drinking mulled cider hmmm. i try to do most of my shopping online because shopping in the shops, although it makes me feel festive, if i have the pressure of HAVING to buy presents i just can't and i hate it.

    i'm going to bath this weekend for their christmas markets and i am so excited.

    i really hate it when people are like 'i've done all my christmas shopping already!', like before december, as if it's a competition. then i feel bad for still running around at the last minute haha.

    i might go and listen to some christmas music now! :D

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  2. I am in agreement with you about the shopping. I am almost completely done with my Christmas shopping and the majority of my gifts I just ordered on Amazon, where I got free shipping and they will be arriving in plenty of time for the holidays. I agree. Just enjoy it.

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  3. i'm so glad you're posting about the holidays. i really love this time of year because of all the family get togethers. i love making candy with my grandma and cookies with my mom and sister. i love having tea parties with my husband and crocheting late into the night. old-timey christmas music makes my heart flutter and i love singing along.

    what i don't like is the hype and all the mass-produced plastic gadgets that people are pressured into buying this time of year. i find that some people in my family, though very well-meaning, spend oodles of money on this stuff. i want to tell them that less is actually more.

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  4. Great tips! I also get stressed dealing with the crowds and such around this time of year. I am making most of my Christmas presents and shopping online for the rest. I'd rather spend my time making treats for my friends and family and snuggling with my husband. That is what the holidays are about for us!

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  5. ohhh I LOVE this post!!!!! Thanks for the wonderful tips!!!!

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  6. I love this, Rachel. You have the exact attitude I've begun to foster around the holidays. I find it all just goes by so quickly, so I want to start early and savor every minute. Beginning with the carols right around Thanksgiving is probably a good idea. Let's permit this holiday thing to really u n w i n d .

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  7. I totally agree with you! I couldn't have said it better myself.

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  8. i've been thinking of how to make the holidays enjoyable, so love the reminder and encouragement. the plan is to keep it simple and easygoing (and fun) this year!

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  9. i'm also much more content in my own place with classic christmas movies playing and some mulled cider on the stovetop.

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  10. I needed this post today as it is my first day of feeling the streeeeeessss and thinking about present shopping and my in-laws arriving (gulp) and the food ordering and the 12 teacher presents I have to get and wanting to make something for them all instead but thinking that might be an embarrassing disaster and on and on and on...so PHEW for you!

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  11. This is such a great series... I was just making the promise to myself last night that I will enjoy the holidays, not stress and accept the imperfections. I will focus more on joy than on making it all perfect! I hear you you etsy and amazon! So true!

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  12. I agree. I love it but hate the hype. I am moving into a new home as of December 1st and I am not sure that I will be in the mood for decorating, and not sure that what I have will work! One of the biggest stressors for me was always Christmas cards. So about 5 years ago I gave that up. And it made my holidays a LOT less stressful. I do send out cards, but only to those that I love the most, and I do it AFTER Christmas (very European, don't ya know?). I do New Years Greetings and it really makes for a wonderful tradition. There are a lot less to do, since I stopped sending them early, people aren't feeling the need to reciprocate and I only get and give cards to those I care about most. Plus, I can be sure to make them more special, or even handmade, and I can include the whole year in my review. Try it!
    Thanks for sharing.
    Enjoy the day!
    Erin

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  13. Too cute, this series! And what a great way to start the season light-hearted, too! The hubs + I just talked yesterday, about how I think I love holiday parties, but all the prep really stresses me out, thus stressing him out -- but what I love is the food + all the friends coming over (and okay, saying, "Wow! you did this?" whoo, over-achiever!). We're compromising this year: I'm definitely not making 13 types of appetizers and entrees, and it's still up in the air whether we're going with a big group (a la Chick-fil-a tray o'nuggets + chips and dips :D) or a small group (perhaps stil a la Chick-fil-a tray :D), but regardless: festivities + fun, our fave part -- that'll be our only focus this year :)

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  14. amen. could not have said it any better. i adore the picture.

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  15. I am an early decorator. It has always been the happiest time of the year, when I was growing up, no matter what was going on - there was always smiles, classic christmas music (dino, ella, nat, bing) and the most awesome velvet pear (with arms and legs) ornament. So now, a week or two after halloween, we break out dino and ella and the apple cinnamon candles and start decorating. Two months to feel the christmas spirit and two months for shopping and making our own presents.
    We dont get presents for everyone we know, just our nearest and dearest. (if you don't send a birthday card, no christmas) It saves us a ton on presents, and removes the need to have to buy something. We usually finish by Thanksgiving and have the rest of the season to wander the pretty lights of the mall without having to buy anything.
    My favorite thing to do is be nice to the clerks, they get yelled at all day by grumpy people who hate lines and shopping, so tip good to your barista and tell them they are doing a great job and Merry Christmas! Sometimes if you smile at an angry person in line and say Merry Christmas it makes their day better. Cheesy but it helps.

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  16. I love this post, and this idea. It's great to really divide the likes and dislikes about the holiday season so that they don't get all jumbled up and you end up feeling desolate about the whole thing! Off to make my lists on my blog :)

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  17. You are the blogger who saved Christmas (or other holiday of your choice). Thanks for this. I'll look forward to the rest of these posts. xo

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  18. Ditto what Mouse said. I think I'm going to make a list now.

    Also - I saw your giveaway on the BSP! That's so exciting!

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  19. I was in Old Navy a little more than a week ago and they were playing all the pop-y versions of Christmas songs. I got a headache REAL quick.

    But I love the smells and the sights of Christmas. The smell of tree farms, the wrapping of gifts, watching the tree twinkle in the late hours of the night, making food and treats, and of course being with my mom and my sister because we have small, not many, traditions.

    =D

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  20. Ah, but what about all the dislikes you can't avoid - family stress, family traditions that won't change that cause stress, and on and on? The things that are not internal pressure (I don't have a lot of internal pressure to do things around the holiday, just external stressers.) Until we can do Holidays on our own terms (not yet? boo.) The best I've come up with is strategies for mitigating the stressful bits, which better allow you to enjoy the nice bits. Sigh.

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  21. i agree - i love amazon for shopping and now i've added etsy to my favored centers.

    :)

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  22. Thank you for these tips, they are great to keep top of mind during this season of so many celebrations.

    One tradition I have started with my best friend is that instead of exchanging gifts (we've known each other since we were 12 and have thus exhausted a lot of original gift ideas) we plan an experience or outing together - a concert, a play, a dinner at a fancy restaurant, day trips to places we've always wanted to see. It is a great way to spend time together and that is such an important gift.

    Happy thanksgiving to you and your family!

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  23. I love reading all your likes and dislikes!

    And Meg, I feel you. I'm lucky enough to be blessed with a family that doesn't produce much stress, but I almost wrote about this issue. I seriously think it's time to make decisions about what we will and won't do. Hopefully if we are upfront about what we simply won't do for the holidays, and we give plenty of warning, we can start to modify family traditions. I know I've been guilty of pressuring people, and I'm trying to let it go. My sister used to hate Thanksgiving and she wouldn't want to come to dinner, and it's my favorite holiday, so it caused a lot of drama and then at one point I finally decided she should do whatever she wants to do. All I ask is that she tell me calmly and in advance, so I can be prepared.

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  24. What a great attitude you have. I think too many of us get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget what the holidays are really about. For me it's spending time and making memories with the people I love. Looking forward to the rest of your holidays series!

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  25. hi! i love this post... you are making me very excited for the holidays!! for us (in canada) thanksgiving is long gone, and doesn't have as much of an affiliation with christmas, but this post is a welcome addition to my weekend of starting to feel the holiday cheer! i'm looking forward to tomorrow :)
    xo meg

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  26. Fabulous post, Rachel!

    For me I love the baking and crafting, too, and I equally abhor the diamonds commercials. (I couldn't care less if every kiss begins with k, if you get my drift. ;-) ) With that said, I actually do love the crazy Christmas music in stores, which might stem from many years in a show choir where we started singing Christmas tunes in August and danced around in character shoes and glittery costumes. Ohhh how I miss those days. But you can rest assure I now reenact my own performances in the kitchen while I bake, driving my husband decidely crazy. It's good times.

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  27. Oh, I love this Rachel. (Hi! I'm kind of new here... I think I found you through Jora at Domestic Reflections.) What a fabulous post and something to look forward to tomorrow.

    Growing up, I loved the holidays... driving around looking at lights, the smell of the trees, baking cookies, singing carols (Corny, I know! I was young) and the only time of year when San Diego had a chance of feeling brisk outside.

    Things changed a few years ago, after losing both of my parents. I started to loathe the holidays. They usually meant too much flying around, guilt, and a kick-off to an annual bout of depression... it just wasn't a fun time of year.

    But, as of last year, as we awaited the birth of our son (a Thanksgiving baby), things changed. My outlook became optimistic and light. I love looking forward to the holidays: the scents, sounds and time away from the usual routine. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I always try to squeeze in some baking, crafting, special dinners with family and friends, and just walking outside in the cold, clear night air. Oh, and lots of music: specifically, the John Denver/Muppets Christmas Album. Ha.

    And yes, I'm with you on the mall: don't go there :)

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  28. I love this series! Even that picture makes me calm down from all the holiday stress.

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  29. my likes are the lights, the sparkle, the gatherings, the feel of my heart beating, believing, making, baking, crafting, illustrating special holiday art for client, sending my cards. seeing my kids love the holidays.

    my hates, well the scrooge that can find it's way in the traffic, the rushing, the deadline....my dad always told me that "Christmas is not one day, it is all year in our hearts"

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  30. Oh Rachel - I love this post. I've done all my Christmas shopping (before the stores get too annoying) and am going to do precisely this in the run up to Christmas. Just bake and craft and decorate and cocoon.

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  31. Oooh, I love the way you describe the holidays. I also love staying inside, sipping tea and staring at the christmas tree lights. After reading this, I feel like you and I could be friends.

    I hate diamond necklace ads too!

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