My absolute favorite thing right now is watching her work on her fine motor control. The look of absolute concentration on her face while she figures out how to make her hands do what she wants amazes me. This week she's started reaching out and gently running her hands over our faces while she stares intently and I just die.
Four months is an exciting time for her, and a weird time for me (what isn't weird about being postpartum? I have so many feelings about this stage of life). My hair abruptly started falling out last week. Not like "oh, that was a lot of hair to lose in the shower" but like "dear god, those are entire clumps of hair just falling out in my hands" - it was a horror show. I'm surprised I have any hair left at this point. I need to get it cut so that I feel slightly less frumpy but I feel like it's safest to wait until the hair loss hits a plateau, so that my stylist knows what he has to work with. Please tell me there will be a plateau.
I also threw my back out this week and had to go to a chiropractor for the first time. Apparently the c-section decimated what little ab strength I had (I've always hated ab work) and now my back is over it. So I need to work on that. The chiropractor asked what I do for exercise and usually when I'm asked this lately I lie and say I walk several times a week but I was just honest and told the truth. I do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was walking daily until I had to go back to work and then I was still managing to walk a few times a week but then the weather got crazy hot and now I just do nothing. Is it any surprise that my back is failing? The chiropractor looked like no one had ever said that before. She even said "oh, walking counts" and then I had to tell her that no, I really meant nothing, no walking, nothing. Am I the only one in LA who doesn't exercise? I would love to say that I went home and took a walk but I just went back to working and then ate a bunch of cookies instead of getting lunch.
Last week I gave in and went to Madewell and got the highest rise pants that they had in a size that fits me comfortably. I don't know what I've done right in my life for mom jeans to come back into style just as I had a kid, but I'm very grateful.
I know that at some point I need to get my act together and start taking better care of myself but this summer is almost over and I just can't be bothered right now because all I want to do is eat cookies and watch my baby grab stuff. But I swear I'm going to start doing those postpartum ab exercises, because the back spasms are no joke.
P.S. You try making a baby smile without looking like a total idiot, it's impossible, I'm pretty sure.
Aww, I love that final photo.
ReplyDelete(hopefully health and other things start to improve, though!)
Thanks, hon!
DeleteOmg I love your truthful depiction of postpartum life. My body is still a hot mess and my son is 7 months. �� I will say that I stopped loosing my hair at 6 months. And another fun thing about the 6 month mark, for us anyways, is that we started sleep training. It’s hard for like 3 days and then BAM you have time to yourself again. It was literally life changing. Talk to your pedi! Maybe you can start that earlier, I feel like ours is a bit conservative which is why we waited until 6 months. Good luck mama! You’re do a bang-up job.
ReplyDeleteWe are excited/terrified about sleep training! I think she'll be able to handle it pretty well, but I'm not sure that we'll be able to handle it.
Deleteyou'll get to a tipping point where you're OK with it all. That's how it was for me at least. I wasn't all, cry baby cry, or anything but I desperately needed a change so I was will to endure...
DeleteI love your review of postpartum life! I'm a ways out now (my kids are 6 1/2 and 12) but I recall it vividly. For abs - is it possible you have a diastasis recti? If so, I'd try PT for core work, and also try to find some sort of workout that focuses on core. I did a "restore the core" class (in MA) after my second and it totally helped with my diastasis recti.
ReplyDeleteI have a tiny bit of diastasis recti, but not enough to be a clinical diagnosis (just 1 finger wide, not very deep). I'm starting on the Dia Method to resolve it completely, so hopefully it'll be completely gone in a few months! I really, really need to find an ongoing core workout that I don't absolutely hate.
DeleteCheck out mommastrong! $2 / month online subscription. Mommastrong saved me when I realized I wasn't exercising and couldn't play/ keep up with my 2 and 5 year olds.
DeleteThe hair loss is just everything you did not lose during pregnancy. All that backlog falls out and then it’s back to a normal amount.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I keep telling myself, but I'm starting to get bald patches at my temples. Ugh.
Deleteall so true! and 4 months was exactly when I lost my hair, from a clump right along my forehead where my hair parts. it was lovely. not. I remember it tapered off (the losing) after a month or six weeks I think.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think I'm getting bald patches at my temples. Sob. Glad to hear it tapered off!
DeleteUgh. The hair loss. Sadly the loss isn't the worst part - for me, having it grow back in was when it got awkward. With both post-pregnancies I considered cutting bangs at that point to hide my new 'baby bangs', but my hairdresser suggested that while I was super exhausted & hormonal, it might not be the time to start caring for bangs too. ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd don't be too hard on yourself about caring for yourself - it has only been 4 months!! Seriously. Especially as a working parent, balancing it all is really difficult. You'll find your rhythm, but the fact that your priority is watching those adorable hands grab things makes me feel like you have exactly the right things happening right now!
I am definitely going back to bangs. I know that they are theoretically more work, but I actually feel like they're easier because it looks like your hair is styled even if you don't do anything except blow dry your bangs for two minutes after you shower. (But I have super straight hair so I think maybe bangs are easier for me, while styling my hair is harder)
DeleteThe upkeep of trimming them sucks, though. That's the only thing holding me back right now.
i love this post, how raw and honest it feels. i'm 10mo post partum and i have just gathered the courage to start looking after myself. I had all the pregnancy weight and more, which is not pretty and i feel ashamed of, but i also feel good about having let myself go and enjoyed my son first moments. i have 10kgs to go - wish me luck!
ReplyDeleteregrading hair - it was/is horrible. If this is your first week, brace yourself for months of hair loss. Everyone told me and i stupidly believed it only happened to others and when it happened to me, with all the postpartum emotions, was a big disappointment. But its over (lasted 3 mos...) and again, is just a phase... i guess that has been the biggest learning curve: its just a phase and like any other, it shall pass..
Ugh, do not feel ashamed! Just keep reminding yourself that the temporary weight gain is nothing compared to all that you're doing! (I know it's easier to believe that about someone else, harder to apply it to yourself) Hang in there!
DeleteMy hair started falling out at 4 months too. It was very scary. It stopped around 6 months and I have no idea if this helped but I started taking collagen peptides daily and my hair seems thick again :)
ReplyDelete